Saying I am sorry doesn’t mean that I am wrong but I value our relationship more than my EGO.
It is ego that is becoming a barrier to form great relationships. No matter whether it is personal or professional having control on ego can help to be successful and stress less. There are three major components in a relationship they are mutual respect, understanding and trust.
Respect is the attribute that is directly related to ego. Everyone likes to receive respect but not that interested in giving respect. Unfortunately, truth is the more you give respect, the more you get in return.
I have seen many arguments which don’t get anywhere specially when trying to resolve a problem. Rather than looking at the problem objectively it gets converted into a blame game. In such cases everyone watching from outside would think why can’t one of them withdraw the argument and say, “I am sorry”.
If you are angry, you are stupid
I have heard many spiritual leaders saying, “if you are angry, you are stupid” as anger hardly gives you good outcome. Ego leads to anger and anger leads disasters’.
Anger is an emotion; emotional intelligence refers to how well you can rationally think while you are emotional. Which means you need to understand your present emotion and control your emotion, also you will have to understand other person’s emotion and you must control the situation to build better relationships.
Amygdala is the physical part of our brain which controls our emotions. An overwhelming response to a stimulus with a later realization that the response was inappropriate is a sign of Amygdala hijack. If you are shouting at someone due to some reason and later you figure out that it doesn’t demand that kind of reaction. Why you didn’t feel it earlier was due to emotional hijack or amygdala hijack.
Basically, neocortex is the logical brain. Amygdala doesn’t pass the signals through neocortex instead it directly triggers an action. When your finger gets burnt pulling it out even before you think, is an action of amygdala that is why it is important part of the process. In fight or flight situation where you must either fight or runaway amygdala gives quick response rather than waiting for the logical brain.
This is a way to avoid amygdala hijack if you wait for 6 seconds before taking an action chemical will diffuse away and amygdala hijack will be avoided.
How often do you say – “I am sorry”?
If you are trained to say, “I am sorry”. It can reduce your amygdala hijacks as your brain will have enough time to react and it is a sign that you are within control of yourself. Better say it earlier rather than later.
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